Bob staggered home after a night of drinking

He tiptoed up the stairs so as not to wake his wife, Kathleen, but tripped and fell on his butt.

The whiskey bottles in both back pockets made the landing especially painful.

He let out a scream, pulled down his pants and looked in the hall mirror to see his ass cheeks cut and bleeding.

Quietly, she managed to find a box of Band-Aids and stuck one where she saw blood.

The next morning he woke up to find Kathleen looking at him and saying, “You were drunk last night, weren’t you?”

Bob snapped, “Why would you think that?”

“It could have been the broken glass, or the blood in the house, or your bloodshot eyes,” Kathleen replied.

“But mostly,” she continued.

“It was the Band-Aids on the mirror in the hallway.”